Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Another lesson on following!

Here I am again at a crossroads. Here I am again at the cross, again at the feet of Jesus, again begging for an answer. Lord what do you have to tell me about the decision in front of me? I am completely and utterly dependant upon you. I cannot make a decision without you, I have no idea what I should do, BUT I KNOW that you do. Lord reveal to me in my incompleteness what you have for me. I desire to completely be in your will for my life. I desire not to stick one tip-toe off of the path that you have prepared. Lead me, guide me-help me to stay on your path! Amen.

I feel like I come to this place often...the place that I have to make a decision and I know I have to rely on God, but I feel like I don't know what God is saying. My flesh, my mind get in the way and I try to work it out on my own--I don't want to do that.  I want God's wisdom to rule within me.

So, I have been struggling with my time commitments.  I am working 18 hours a week, I am taking 12 hours of class a week which leads to 12-24 hours of homework each week, and of course I am a wife and a mother--I am trying to exercise 3-4 times a week, and I am cooking dinner 1x a week and 1 weekend a month for the dorm students (that is just a total of 8 of us including my family). I am feeling overwhelmed and the only thing that I feel like I can give on is my work--by not working.  Now that seems like a simple answer, but I know that God provided this job for me at the beginning of the summer and I now that in the past this summer he has told me to keep at it-so I don't want to leave it and be out of His plan for me. But I am not feeling like He is telling me for sure to stay this time....but my confusion comes because I think maybe I am missing it because I want to leave the job. Then I remember about the time commitment that i have with my job and that I will be required to do some extra unpaid time as well for some trainings that I need to do--and I think I can't do that, I already do not have anymore time to commit to this job.  So then I think, well if I quit that leaves our income source and what God has been using to provide for my family--I can't do that.  So here I am in the midst of confusion....did you know that God is not the author of confusion-Satan is?  I don't want to be where Satan wants me.

This morning I was reading in my Bible in Exodus and Moses says to the Israelites in Exodus 15:26 "If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians for I am the Lord, who heals you,"  I want to listen carefully to the voice of the Lord my God.  I thought about some times in the last year that I had to make decisions and I knew I had written about them in my Blogs so I came back to read.  What has God done before?  What has he brought me through in the past?  LOTS of decisions!! And what always happens when God is speaking to me....PEACE, PEACE that can only come from Him.  So, what do I need to wait for? I need to wait until I receive peace from Him.

Lord bring me your peace for the decision I have. Thank you Lord!!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Measuring Up Game

I read an article this morning, and I wanted to share it.  It discusses something that I have recently been thinking about and thought it a great piece to begin this blog.  Please follow the link below and read it:


I get so tired of this "measuring up" game! I constantly find myself doing this.  Usually it has to do with seeing other women--tall, skinny, beautiful, energetic--and comparing myself to them.  We have begun to exercise 3-4 times a week at the YMCA, and I have done a pretty good job not comparing myself to the other more in shape women, but there is a woman that I see regularly and she has one of the flattest tummies I have seen!!  She of course is also tan and has beautiful hair.  I think to myself, gee I wish I could have a tummy like that, and I start to feel bad about myself, knowing my tummy will never look like that, and I will never have a tan like she does!  So then I start to find fault in her to make myself look better in my mind.  First of all--this isn't a fault, but works as a good excuse for me--I am almost 100% sure that she has not had any babies, if she had--her stomach could never look like it does!  Second of all her teeth are crooked!!  Ok, I admit it, this is not how I should be responding to those around me.  I should not be finding faults in them to make myself look better.

Lately my struggle has been more with comparing myself to others in what they are doing.  Like as a mother, wife, friend, or even in my walk with the Lord.  The beginning of the article that I posted has the author at a home of another and she is just disgusted with the way this other woman can put the house together for her children...I feel this way so much when I hear of mothers making their own baby food, picking all their own fruits and veggies, spending the day doing crafts with their children, or constantly taking them to the library or to other fun places.  I think to myself "I am a horrible mother, I hardly ever take my kids to the library, I certainly don't go picking my own fruits and veggies, I don't do crafts with them....what do I do with them?"  Then I begin to go over the things that I do with my children and this week I have felt that I am selfish with my time and choose to do with my children the things only I want to do. 

So, here is what I did; I made a list of the things I like to do with my children and then I made a list of the things that my children like to do with me.  Now when it is time for us to do something together we can choose from the things that we really enjoy doing, and I am not spending our time trying with all my might to do, do, do.  I have realized that each of us does not have to parent like those around us.  We do have responsibilities as parents to look out for their needs and safety of our children, but we don't have to be running ourselves ragged trying to parent like the neighbor does, or our best friend, or even our husband.  My husband could be the one who does the more entertaining things with the kids, while I do the care taking or visa versa...God has given us different gifts and abilities, some of us are great at crafting and thinking of things like that to do with our kids, some of us really enjoy reading to our kids, some of us love to play games with them, some of us love to be outdoors with them....whatever it is that we do with our children as long as we are meeting their "real" needs of showing them God, giving them love, supporting them, providing them with safety and so on--it doesn't matter how what we do compares to those around us.

Our culture is so stuck on being approved by those around us...I don't want to get stuck in that rut...I find myself there so often, with so many different things.  I really want to begin to take my focus off of those around me and put my focus on God.  Twice in the last month I have heard a comment from an adult to a child about "what will others think?" Once was to a 3 year old who was being a bit silly and not listening to the adult and the adult said, "Now stop, your friends are all looking at you and thinking you are silly." This adult was planting the early seeds of worrying about what others are thinking.  The second  time was when a child was wearing a funny outfit, I believe it was jammies and he was going to go out in public and this adult said to him "You don't want to wear your jammies out, people will think your funny" - or something to that affect.  The older of the two children that was going out was worried about people looking at them too, he said "those people are all laughing about you."  The kids and people around us pick up on what we do around others and how we act, I certainly do not want to teach my kids to be so absorbed in how others view me that they can't think and act for themselves.  I am choosing to fight this battle and to begin to focus on what God thinks about me and not what others are thinking, and to choose to show this to my children.

I want to be able to stop comparing myself to the world, I am not of the world as it says in

John 15:19

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

Romans 12:2

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

1 John 2:16

For everything in the worldthe cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.

Those of us who choose to follow the Lord our God, the maker of heaven, the maker of earth, the one who formed the first man out of dust and the first woman out of that man....are not of this world, therefore; we can not compare ourselves to the world and those in the world.  We can not conform ourselves to this wordly pattern of worrying about what others are thinking, we need to let God transform us and renew us in Him.  The sinfulness, lusting and boasting of what a person does comes from the world--so again we should not be comparing ourselves to what others are doing.  Are you doing what God wants you to be doing?  This is what we should be thinking and comparing ourselves to.  Not are you doing what God wants someone else to be doing...Not are you doing the things your friends, neighbors are doing, but are you DOING WHAT GOD...WHAT GOD...wants you to be doing?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Challenge

I issued a challenge in my last blog.  Someone did take me up on that challenge.  I am posting today to add to the challenge and to update on my progress and to find out if anyone else has given it a shot!

I did about 50% on the last challenge. I am going to strive to do better this time! The last challenge consisted of daily readings and 2 meditations. I also suggested working on memorizing some scripture.  I did about 1/2 of my daily readings, didn't work on much memorizing, but did finish the meditations. 

If anyone worked on this things, please post and let me know what you learned and what you are working on memorizing.

For the next 2 weeks

This week:
Daily reading: Acts 23 & 24
Memorize: I am still working on Romans 6:1-10
Meditate: Romans 7

Next week:
Daily reading Acts 25 & 26
Memorize: Romans 6:1-12
Meditate: Psalms 25

I hope that you will give this a try and let your mind open up to what God wants to show you! I am looking forward to working on it and really putting effort into connecting with God and seeking His will for my life.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Psalm 15

My meditation this last week was on Psalm 15--I'm not gonna type it out, but look it up!! As I read through this Psalm several times and looked through the notes on it in my Student Study Bible, I was lead to several other passages of scripture and continued to explore.

Let me sum up Psalm 15 with a few points--Psalm 15 asks who may live on your (God's) holy hill? and gives the answers as:
    • walk is blameless
    • does what is righteous
    • speaks truth
    • no slander
    • does neighbor no wrong
    • no slur on fellowman
    • despises a vile man
    • honors those who fear the Lord
    • keeps his oath
    • lends money without usury
    • does not accept a bribe
Ok, quite a list right? Well, I started wondering....what does it mean? I mean, how can I apply it to my life and how could I help someone else apply it to their life? How can we live on God's holy hill?

Well the first two, I think are the KEY to this whole Psalm and the KEY to the answer.  HE WHOSE WALK IS BLAMELESS, and who DOES WHAT IS RIGHTEOUS. 

Now, can we all be blameless...I mean are we all without sin? ABSOLUTELY not. No one, except Jesus is without sin. So we are all to blame for sin...How can our walk be blameless? And what does it mean to do what is righteous?  Well, this is what I wanted to look into.

Let's start with the definition of righteous. In the Webster dictionary, Righteous means: 1-acting in accord with divine or moral law--free from guilt or sin. 2 -morally right or justifiable. So, doing what is righteous means to do/act according to divine/moral law, being free from guilt or sin. Can we be free of sin? No, like I said we all sin...but....and a big BUT here, we can be free of sin and guilt through Jesus Christ.  Jesus died on the cross for ALL...I repeat, ALL of our sins, so that we can be free from sin and guilt of that sin. But, here I have to ask...does this make everyone free of sin because Jesus did this, I mean don't we have to do something too. We can't just assume that the whole world is now guiltless and blameless since Jesus died for all....right? What do we have to do to be able to be blameless?

Let's look at the definition of blameless. The definition of blame in the dictionary is: 1- an expression of disapproval or reproach. 2 -a state of being blameworthy-fault, sin. 3-responsibility for something believed to deserve censure.  So if we are to blame...we are at fault, we are being disapproved of, we are responsible for something deserving censure/judgment. So being blameless means that we are now without fault we are now not deserving judgment. How do we get to a point of not receiving judgment? How can we be without fault.....oh, by being righteous....by acting in accord to God's (divine) law. Now we need to know how to act in accord to God's law.

First we need to answer the question of what we have to do about this "Jesus" thing. About how can we be free of sin, because part of becoming righteous as we figured out earlier was being free of sin. Does this mean we need to be "religious?" Like, I just need to go to church, I just need to say "yah, I believe there is a God." Is this what we need to do to be free of sin?  NO. Going to church, believing there is a "god," does not make you free of sin. Jesus is a big...no Jesus is THE factor here. We must believe that Jesus was born of God into our world, that he was without sin, that he died on the cross for punishment of all our sin. Alright so that covers being free of past sin. Now we need to know what to do to act in accord to God's law (righteous).

I decided to look to Matthew 6:33. This verse talks about seeking God's kingdom first and seeking his righteousness.  So we need to seek God's kingdom and seek God's righteousness....hmmm....God's righteousness...well isn't this just what we have been thinking about.  To seek God's righteousness means to seek God's divine law.  Where do we find God's divine law?  In the Bible of course!! So we should be reading and studying our Bibles.  And then once we know God's law for our life we need to continue to seek it, seek His kingdom---by pursuing the things that he has asked us to pursue and leaving behind the things that he is asking us to leave behind (I think first here about the sin we need to leave behind).

Alright, I want to challenge those of you reading this to do something with me.  I really struggle with making myself take time to be in God's Holy Word.  I go through phases where I do a really good job and then I start to slack off again.  I know life goes much smoother because I am prepared for it--when I am spending time reading the Bible and time in prayer and time memorizing some scripture.  So, my challenge to you is to do what I am trying to do and pick a couple chapters to read out of your Bible for each day of the week and then find a passage to work on memorizing, and then once a week take time to meditate on some scripture. Read the scripture, pray, read again, pray some more--take about 30 minutes and find out what God wants you to hear out of the passage that you have chosen.  I am going to do this too, and have been trying to do this better lately....I am going to check in and expect to hear a report from any of you readers about what you learned this week!! And I will share too.  Let's open up our hearts and minds to hear what God has to tell us and seek to be righteous and blameless before the Lord.

A reading plan:

from today until the 21st: Acts 19 and 20 read daily
memorize: (we are working on Romans 6)
meditate: Psalms 63

On the 21st-- through the 27th:
Acts 21-22 daily
Meditate: James 5

Hope you enjoy your time with the Lord...I know I will!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Rewards of Obeying

Just a quick little blog this morning about the rewards of obeying and choosing to follow.  I told you my story of how I had to obey what God was asking me to do with our little dog Rusty, well let me tell you....He did have a plan.  As if that was a question....of course He has a plan!! 

Rusty has just been adopted by his foster home! It was love at first sight for both Rusty and the man of the family. The man kept thinking about Rusty and the ended up fostering him. Then they were to take Rusty in to meet a prospective family, and they really could not part with him, so they adopted him. The man apparently takes Rusty with him wherever he goes! Rusty seems to be extremely happy and most of his "issues" are not issues anymore. He sleeps in bed with the couple too. I am so happy that it turned out this way. Rusty didn't have to be out of a home for very long and in fact I think it sounds like he is more settled then he has been before, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Obedience Part 2---FINALLY

Wow, I have been wanting to post, but just have not made it a priority. We have started summer term at Salem Bible College (my first term here), and we have moved...so it has been pretty busy. I should actually be doing homework right now, I have 100 pages in my Jeremiah text, 20 chapters in the Bible, and 81 pages to read in my Philosophy text. Yikes, I shouldn't be doing this right now!!! I'm also enjoying a Blueberry Muffin Poptart and coffee---have you tried the Blueberry Muffin Poptarts? They are REALLY good!!

Alright, so last time I discussed my struggle with obedience with leaving my job at First Christian Pre-Primary. But that was just the beginning of my test in obedience. With this move to Brooks, we have had to find new homes for our dogs. I can't remember how much I have said about that, but we had a 3 year old yellow Lab named Mannie and an 8 year old Mini Doxie named Rusty. We found a wonderful home for Mannie and it was hard to leave him, but I know he is being loved and he loves it!!! The boys had a pretty hard time with leaving him, he was their buddy. We then had to find a home for our little dog, not so easy. He is very quirky, and I just wasn't sure how to find him a home. So, today's blog is about my obedience in finding him a home.

It started about May 4th. I had contacted a dog rescue place to see if they had room for Rusty or if they had any ideas on what I could do to find him a home. She e-mailed me back and said that she would check with the lady that runs the rescue and get back to me. I got an e-mail from Randy about the details (this was before we moved, and before we knew for sure that we could do it) of our future living situation and that we could move in on June 1. Right after that e-mail, I received one from the rescue that they could take Rusty and she said they could actually take him that weekend. My first thought was that "Wow God, you must have put that together." Saturday came and went and I had not committed to taking Rusty to this place. I wasn't sure that it was God telling me to take him. I had no peace about it...I was worried about him being there because he would be with other small dogs in a yard with the option of an indoor place to go and rest. I couldn't imagine him being there after 8 years of snuggling in our bed with us...what a shock to him that would be. The night that I was most worried about it, the next morning, I woke up to my daily e-mail devotional and it was about not being afraid, and about God being God. So, again I thought "God is this you confirming this?" I wasn't sure if God was telling me to not be afraid of the "whole situation" or of taking Rusty to this place. I continued to pray and seek God about it. I decided to sit down and meditate on God's word (remember a couple blogs ago, I said "put yourself in God's word"--it wasn't about obedience--but God's word applies to ALL areas of our lives) So, anyway, I decided to go to Proverbs--a book in the Bible that focuses on wisdom. I was just going to start at Proverbs 1, but as I headed there, I felt like I should read Proverbs 3. Proverbs 3 talked to me about seeking wisdom and Proverbs 3: 5-6 reminded me again to "not lean on your own understanding." Again, I said "God, is this you telling me to not rely on my understanding of what you are doing through this rescue for Rusty--or are you just telling me to continue to trust you with the 'Whole situation.'" I continued to seek God for Him to give me peace in the situation with the answer to what I should do with Rusty.

On May 25 I was working on a paper for class. It was doing a reflection on Proverbs 2:1-6--about wisdom and about going to God and His Word for our wisdom and understanding. This really spoke to me about making sure that when I am seeking wisdom, that the wisdom I get needs to come from my time with the Lord, not the thoughts or feelings that I have or that anyone else may have. So, no matter what others would think, no matter how I was "feeling" about the decision...I needed to trust God and rely on His wisdom. God does not call us to be comfortable and to have things be easy all the time...He calls us to follow Him and be obedient to His plan. He has the bigger picture...He sees your tomorrows...we can't see what is ahead and when we see that something doesn't look right to us...we have to remember that our vision is cloudy, God's is clear and He knows what is best and He knows how it will work out!! After doing this reflection I felt that I needed to go ahead with plans to take Rusty to this place, but all of a sudden there was another option. We had prayed that God would provide another way that wouldn't cost us $100 and wouldn't be a place that Rusty had to be away from people--and all of a sudden there was another option. A good friend offered to help out and keep Rusty in her home while they looked for a home for him. WOW, what an amazing option. I felt like God had provided that option and that was the way to go. But I have to say, that there were still some reservations--not peacefulness--inside of me about it. I sought God that night again for His clear guidance....as our time was getting short.

The next morning I did my reflection for the next week of class....another Proverbs. It was Proverbs 1:1-7. Again this re-affirmed how very important it is for us to be in God's Word, but not only in it----applying it to our lives. It also reminded me of Isaiah 55:8-9 that tells us that God's thoughts are not like ours, His ways are beyond what we can imagine, His ways are higher then ours and His thoughts are higher then ours. WOW, again He tells me..."you can't understand what I am doing, my ways and thoughts you can't even imagine, trust me and I will show you, follow me and I will do what it is that I do best....I will work it out (here is the key) MY WAY, NOT YOURS!"

OK, I get it...I get it...I had 100% complete peace, peace that I definitely did not have before--peace that was only from God--and that told me what I needed to do. The peacefulness in my heart was so contrasting to the nonpeacfulness the weeks prior, that I could not ignore it and knew that there was only one way for me to be obedient, and that was to take Rusty to the rescue. I contacted them that day and set it up.
Turns out that Rusty only had to stay one night at the rescue and then he went to a foster home with a lady that is good with senior dogs and behavior probs and Doxies. Do you think God had a plan? I think so....I know so!! Thank you God. It took alot for me to be obedient, but it was such a great lesson. God showed me so clearly the peace that He can give when we are following Him and doing what He has asked us to do.

Do you have a decision to make? Are you trusting God to direct you? Really seek Him and search for His peace. Spend time with Him, spend time in His Word. Trust His guidance and His peace.

Obedience Part 3...coming soon!!--I hope

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Obedience and decisions

WOW--we have been being tested on our obedience to continue to follow Jesus on the path he has laid before us.

Randy and I have been praying about a new adventure. The adventure that lies before us is: living on campus--actually in the school at Salem Bible College. They have made a place for us and we know that God is directing us there. But along with the fun of a new adventure come some hard decisions. Decisions that we can try to take into our own hands or decisions that we can rely on God to show us what he wants. But you know what happens when you want to rely on God and when you want to let Him show you the way? He typically gives you some time before he reveals His desires, some time to be patient and wait on Him--to show Him we trust Him; this time often leads us to jumping into making a decision without waiting for direction--taking things into our own hands. And this is precisely what I have just experienced.

Remember a few blogs ago I shared about how Randy's main source of income was taken away? Well when that happened I decided that I was going to need to try to work more in my current job when school starts again in the Fall--if possible. There is a position opening up for a preschool assistant teacher for 5 mornings a week. When I first heard about it, I had felt like I shouldn't pursue it because I was planning to go to school in the Fall. Well, when the money news hit I jumped ahead and said I was interested and that I would only go to school part time in the Fall to make it work out and if we ended up moving to Salem (which at the point was a distant hope) I would commute.

Well, this moving to Salem opportunity came through and we know it is God's direction for us. It is something that will continue to refine our focus and help us to grow in our relationship with the Lord and in our knowledge of His word. Last week Randy and I discussed the Salem move and the possibility of the job situation that I was hoping for and again I thought I just need to pursue the job and that I didn't want to tell the preschool again that I had changed my mind. Randy said that God might want me to not pursue it...and recalled a time when we were looking at moving from Eugene to Albany and thought we could continue to do some things in Eugene. So keeping part of us in Eugene and the rest of us moving forward to Albany.

Ok--so that all sets the stage for the real meat of want I want to share. Some of you that read this may find this strange---but that night after Randy and I talked and prayed together I was wide awake at 1 AM and up for 2 hours and I think I was arguing with God!! How did it come out? Of course God won and I learned a lesson--I chose to follow his lead and be obedient. During the two hours God revealed to me that I had jumped ahead of him when I said that I was interested in the preschool position--I was trying to take things into my own hands instead of relying on Him for His provision and direction. He reminded me of scripture about seeking His wisdom and finding it. James 1:5  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But it isn't just about finding that wisdom from Him...it is about being obedient when He reveals His wisdom. Proverbs 8 is Wisdom's Call vs. 33-36 read 33 Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. 34 Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. 35 For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the LORD. 36 But whoever fails to find me harms himself; all who hate me love death." I had not been being obedient. Ever since the day that I told my work that I was interested in being considered for the open position--I had felt like I should take it back--but I didn't want to. It took 2 hours in the middle of the night for me to finally say ok--I have to do that--I have to tell them that I can't do it. God reminded me of another time that we were seeking His wisdom for a decision and He had given me a clear picture in my mind of me with my foot in the door and then leaning out the door trying to move forward with the next step. Guess what? When your foot is stuck in a door of the last step you can't really move forward and put all your effort into the next step.

We always seem to want to pursue what we think to be logically be the best choice to. Proverbs 3:7 says Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.  The best choice in our eyes is not what God always has in mind--and if it isn't what He intended for us--it is not the best choice--regardless of what we see. God wants us to be obedient--to do what He has asked us to do whether we like it, whether we are comfortable with it, whether we thinik it is best. And God is really testing us in this area right now. I have more--but this is getting long as it is and so I will wait for another day.

Thanks for reading,


Monday, April 26, 2010

Anxiousness-and what others think

I had a different blog planned, but it will have to wait. I am having anxiousness and I want to share about it!!! And I want to share about how I can choose to follow even when I am anxious!

I have discovered that when I get anxious, and have those anxiety feelings down in my tummy, that I continue to get more anxious and more anxious. Unless, I am able to stop focusing on my anxiety and turn my attention to God's word and the verses that I have committed to memory, like:

Philippians 4:6-8-"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

This verse is awesome. God reminds us to not be anxious about anything, but take all your concerns and requests and problems to him and his peace which is beyond anything we can fathom will be with us. And instead of dwelling on why you are anxious or that you are anxious dwell on the truth (what is truth?--God and his word are truth) dwell on things that are noble and right, things that are pure and lovely. All that is admirable, excellent and praiseworthy---these are the things that are minds need to be filled with.

Here is one of the things that I struggle with. I get anxiety over worrying about what people think of me. I am sure many can relate to being concerned about what others think of you. I think "do they like me?" "do they think I'm fat, ugly, weird, too silly, dumb....whatever." The list goes on and on. This is such unhealthy thinking. Something, however that is horribly hard to stop doing. Something that our society is all about. We all push towards wanting everyone to like us. But you know what--it doesn't matter!!! It doesn't matter if everyone likes us or if everyone thinks we are the best. If we are seeking God and doing what he has called us to do and concentrating on what His Word says---then we are where we need to be and it doesn't matter if the person across the street likes us!!! We need to be confident in God's love for us. This is not an easy thing--especially for those of us who struggle so much with being people pleasers! But like my husband said to me "you need stop thinking about what other people think of you and focus on how God thinks and feels about you. The way you do that is by meditating on His word!! You know how to be an overcomer, you just need to decide to do it!!" So, I say it again and remind myself as well as any of you who struggle with this---put yourself in God's word!!

Monday, April 19, 2010


God's love--that is!!!

Have you had the first hand experience of God's love in your life? If you have you know that it is an amazing thing. We have expereinced God's love so fully and so often in our lives. God is good!

Our last big twist/bend/slide in our journey has straightened out and it was such a love gift--a big hug from the Lord--it made me know that I had to share about God's love today.

About 2 weeks ago, we suddenly had our main source of income taken away. We were VERY unsure of what this meant for our next few months. Randy was planning to continue with school full time this summer and I was planning on beginning some classes. But with the income dropping, we thought maybe Randy would have to try to find work instead of going to school. We did not want to rush ahead and take matters into our own hands. We began to extra diligently seek God to show us the next step. We waited on Him and within a week, our income was back!! God provided a scholarship for part of Randy's schooling for the next year and then he brought income back. He showed us that he still wanted Randy to go to school and that for now he still wanted him to go without needing to work.

This last year has been full of moments such as this. Times where God has said to us "Depend on me." "Trust me" "Listen to me". We are learning to be patient and wait on him, we are learning that he is faithful and will provide. AND we are learning that what we see as the best solution to a problem, is MOST often not what God sees!!

God loves us all so much. Think of these following verses:

1 John 4:7-12

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Matthew 6:28-34

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Romans 8:38-39

38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So, just the beginning of God's great love for us. God loves us more then we can imagine. If you have children, think about how much you love them....now multiply that by infinity and that is how much God LOVES YOU!!!

Now go live your day today like God loves you and remember how God calls us to act in love towards others.

Thanks for reading,


Monday, April 12, 2010

What does it mean?

Last blog I posed the question "What does it mean to follow?" I began to answer that, and will continue to!!

To follow. When I choose to follow, I choose to follow Jesus. To follow him like he commanded the disciples to follow him in Mark Chapter 1 vs. 17: Jesus said "Come follow me, and I will make you fish for people." He was calling these fishermen to follow him. Now, if some man came along and said this to me while I was fishing--I think I would have a hard time doing what Simon and Andrew did. They immediately left their nets and followed him (vs. 18). They gave up their life to follow this man that they really did not know. What a sacrifice. I mean I would be thinking "huh, follow you...follow you where? and you will make me what? I don't get it." But these men, they did it immediately and as far as we know, they didn't really object. I would guess that they were leaving their families' business of fishing--so they were being asked to not only leave their job, but to leave their family, and again, I want to remind you they did it IMMEDIATELY. The comfort and security that they had would be left behind. They were ready to throw off the things that would get in their way of following where Jesus was leading.

This is what I am seeking to do, I am trying my best to throw off that which entangles me and fully trust in what Jesus is doing in my life. Hebrews 12:1 says "We have around us many people whose lives tell us what faith means. So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should REMOVE from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back."

Several years ago, Randy and I both felt God's call on our lives. A call towards full-time ministry. This call was the beginning of a very interesting journey. Jesus has since said follow me and leave your comforts and security. Randy left his job, we moved from our home of 3 years to a 2 room mostly finished basement. We left the comfort of money, friends and a nice home. We put most of our belongings in storage, and we set off on our journey. Again and again we have been asked to trust that God will provide and Jesus will shepherd us and lead us along the path he has called us to. Randy is pursuing Bible school full time and I am looking to join him part time. We are choosing to follow where God is leading us, whatever, whenever and however that is.

Have you been asked to leave comfort and security? I have. And I know that when I choose to follow....when I choose to follow Jesus, I will continually be asked to leave behind the worldly comfort and security, and be asked to trust in Jesus, not in money, not in the things that are in this world, but to trust in the man that calls us to "follow him". The man that left his heavenly home to come join our world and to die so that we can again be in fellowship with God. I don't know about you, but when Jesus asks me to follow him, I want to be able to drop everything like Andrew and Simon did and say "OK Jesus, I trust you and trust what you say. Here I come. I am ready for what you have for me."

I would like to share the last big bump/twist/stop sign (whatever you want to call it) in our life and will in the next blog!

Thanks for reading


Saturday, April 10, 2010

A Blog?

OK, well....a blog....I never thought I would be joining the blogging world....but I never thought I would be experiencing a lot of the things I have experienced in my life! So, here I go---my first try at blogging.

My husband (Randy) and I have been on a tremendous journey, a journey that continues to get more and more exciting as time goes on. We have committed our lives "TO FOLLOW" what and where God is directing. At times this is a scary, nerve racking, crazy thing. At other times it is very exciting, very rewarding, and very peaceful. This is why I have chosen to try out blogging. I really felt that I needed to share about our experiences. And the reason my blog is called "To Follow" is because that is what it is about, about following God. About the journey that happens when you follow. The address for the blog is "Ichoosetofollow" this is because that is what I am doing....I am choosing to follow God. I am not just listening, I am not just believing...I am choosing to follow. What does it mean to follow? WOW...if only I could tell you all that it means to me to follow. But I don't have time this morning or probably enough space for that. But as time goes on, I will be able to show you what it means in my life. Following God is a journey and like I said it can be crazy and right now in our life......it is crazy.

Next blog.....the beginning of the journey we are on.

Thanks for reading,